From the album Ambiguous Desire
This is about someone who weaponizes their own pain without meaning to. Parks confesses to dumping trauma on someone she loves, then spends the entire song reframing herself as the one being hurt when that person withdraws. She knows she crossed a line but can't stop making their reaction the real injury.
Oh, I felt so dumb when I told you square / 'I was suicidal in Brazil'
The word 'square' does all the work here. It means bluntly, without warning, without care for context. She knows it landed wrong the second she said it but still positions herself as the dumb one, not the careless one.
I know it's not a way to treat people you love / I know it's not a way to treat people you love
She repeats this like a mantra but never names what the wrong behavior actually is. The repetition feels less like accountability and more like she's trying to absolve herself by saying it enough times.
Oh, it broke my heart, when you pulled away / I never thought my oldest pain / Could be something you'd grow to resent
This flips the script entirely. Now her trauma is 'my oldest pain' and their withdrawal is resentment of her suffering, not a reasonable response to being emotionally ambushed. She might genuinely not see the difference.
I feel it all, I feel it all / Nothing at all
She treats emotional overload and numbness as the same experience. Both end with her unable to act, which is maybe the real point. Feeling everything becomes an excuse to do nothing.
I know it's the right thing to do, but I don't wanna
She never says what the right thing is. Letting go, apologizing, taking space. The vagueness protects her from actually having to do it. As long as she doesn't name it, she doesn't have to follow through.
The song ends with 'I'm scared of what I've done' but never shows her doing anything differently. She's built a loop where awareness of harm replaces accountability for it. The other person isn't in the song anymore. Just her, alone with the knowledge that she broke something and the refusal to let it go.