From the album Something is a shell . - EP
This is about the disappointment of seeing someone clearly for the first time and realizing there was never anything there to begin with. She thought she was hunting for depth, but the entire song is her standing over something already dead, cataloging exactly how little there was to lose. The bridge performs forgetting his name while listing his exact height range and eye colors, which means she never needed to remember him at all.
Throat stuffed with apology / Hands are red and caught by me
She catches him mid-apology, physically exposed, trying to explain himself. The redness of his hands could mean guilt or arousal or both, but either way, she has already stopped listening.
I looked for depth in a dick, that's my bad / They say I'm the shit, and I am / I am the shit, sir, and I hit the fan
She admits the search itself was the mistake, not what she found. The fan-hitting line reframes the entire confrontation as her making a mess on purpose, not discovering one by accident.
The life of me can't make out / Who this fucking song's about
She gives his exact physical description two lines earlier, which proves she remembers everything. The forgetting is deliberate erasure, not actual confusion. She might be saying he never mattered enough to retain a name, or she might just be lying to herself about how much attention she paid.
Curiosity's instilled / I'm the cat and I got killed / Again-gain-gain-gain
She claims victimhood while holding all the power. The repetition of 'again' means this is a pattern, but she frames herself as the one who gets hurt instead of the one who keeps looking for depth in places she already knows it does not exist.
The song wants you to think she got hurt looking for something that was not there, but the real pattern is simpler. She keeps seeking depth in people she has already sized up as shallow, then acts surprised when she finds exactly what she expected. The bridge gives it away: she remembers everything about him except the one thing that would make him matter.