From the album Until The Sun Explodes
This is a haunting dressed up as a love song. Every detail places the person in the past or behind a screen: old pornos at a bar, voice on a phone, songs on the radio. The cosmic timeframe ('until the sun explodes') tries to make the devotion eternal, but the desperate repetition of 'do you know?' reveals the speaker knows they're talking to someone who can't answer back anymore.
While I was thinkin' 'bout you at your favorite bar / They were playing old pornos on the VCR
The bar is theirs, not ours. Past tense ownership. The speaker visits alone, chasing a ghost through locations that belonged to someone else's life.
That night I dreamed when I got home / I heard your voice on my telephone / And when I woke up / I was all alone
The only direct contact happens in a dream. Waking up alone is the reality the song keeps circling back to, no matter how many cosmic promises get made.
Should have been for you / You instead of me
Survivor's guilt finally breaks the surface. Being alive is supposed to be proof of the debt owed, but here it flips: the speaker thinks they're living a life that wasn't meant for them. The gift is the problem.
My lullaby in a loaded gun / I'm alive
Comfort and danger fused into one image. The person gave the speaker life, but that life is now something the speaker has to carry like a weapon they didn't ask for. I'm not sure if the speaker realizes the contradiction: owing your life to someone means you were saved, but 'instead of me' means you wish you weren't.
The song never explains why the speaker owes their life, and that silence is the whole point. This isn't about repaying a favor. It's about being the one who survived when maybe you shouldn't have, and now every sunrise on that lonely coast is just another day you're here instead of them.