From the album songs
This is about wanting someone so badly you'll take any scrap of closeness they'll give you, even if it means swallowing your own needs. Lenker keeps saying she doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to own someone's fantasy, just wants to exist quietly in their life. That refusal to ask for more is the whole problem.
Starin' down the barrel of the hot sun / Shinin' with the sheen of a shotgun
The gun image isn't violent. It's about how love can feel aimed at you, bright and dangerous at once. That sheen makes the threat pretty.
Christmas Eve with your mother and sis / Don't wanna fight but your mother insists / Dog's white teeth slice right into my fist
She's literally bleeding at a family gathering and the detail that lands is 'your mother insists.' Not that the dog bit her. That she couldn't avoid conflict even when she tried.
I don't wanna be the owner of your fantasy / I just wanna be a part of your family
Owner versus part. She's asking for less than what she probably deserves, downgrading herself from lover to background fixture. That's the compromise she thinks will make it work.
Wanna listen to the sound of you blinkin' / Wanna listen to your hands soothe
You can't actually hear someone blink. She's past reason, cataloging impossible details just to stay close. This is what it sounds like when wanting someone becomes a full-time job.
Weren't we the stars in Heaven? / Weren't we the salt in the sea? / Dragon in the new warm mountain / Didn't you believe in me?
Past tense everywhere. She's asking if something was real that maybe never was, grasping at mythic language because the actual relationship won't hold still long enough to name.
The song ends on 'lay in your lap when I'm cryin'' because that's the only ask she allows herself. Not 'hold me.' Not 'stay.' Just let me collapse near you and don't make me explain why. It's gutting because you can hear how little she thinks she's worth.