From the album Golden Age
This is a song about someone who's convinced abandonment is her fault before anyone has actually left. She's not investigating what went wrong. She's pre-writing the script for her own worthlessness, asking questions designed to confirm she was never enough.
Am I not good enough for you? / Is there something wrong with me?
These aren't real questions. Real questions wait for answers. These assume 'yes' before the sentence even ends, turning inquiry into confession.
Does she smile the way I do / When she has you in her mouth?
The sexual specificity here isn't about jealousy. It's about reducing herself to technique, asking if she performed intimacy correctly, like it's a skill she failed at.
Do you not love me like you did / When you told me that it's fine?
She's asking if shared trauma was supposed to be the bond that kept them together. Like pain recognition was the contract, and leaving breaks it.
And now that you're gone, I wanna die / 'Cause I don't hate you like I know I should
She knows anger would be the healthy response. Instead she turns the violence inward, treating her inability to hate him as another thing she's doing wrong.
I just cry by myself at night / But you'll never know and you'll never see
This lands like punishment she's chosen. Not just that he's gone, but that she'll make sure he never finds out how much it hurt. Self-erasure as the final act of devotion.
The title is bullets, but the song never mentions them. Maybe because the real casings are the questions themselves: hollow shells left behind after the violence has already happened. She's still holding them, still asking what she did wrong, not realizing the damage is done.