From the album Carpet Bed EP
This is a song about someone who's convinced that being unconscious together counted as intimacy. She remembers blacking out while needing someone as romance instead of recognizing she was too vulnerable to consent to whatever happened next. The apology for going crazy arrives without any explanation of what that means, like she's practiced saying sorry so many times she doesn't need to know what for anymore.
I told you from the start / I disappear when it gets cold / But you found a way to keep me here
She frames her own warning as something he solved, like leaving was a problem he fixed by giving her a reason to stay. The pride in 'you found a way' erases the possibility that staying wasn't a rescue.
I miss what you'd do to me / When I was in need of you and blacked out
What you'd do to someone who's blacked out isn't intimacy. It's what you'd do to someone who can't say no. She romanticizes unconsciousness as closeness, missing the vulnerability instead of recognizing it.
I'm sorry I went crazy / I just thought I'd let you know
The apology lands without context, like she's been told she owes one but doesn't actually remember what she did. 'I just thought I'd let you know' is the tone of someone who apologizes preemptively now to avoid worse consequences later.
I'm bleeding from my ears / Sneaking out while you're asleep 'cause you're my biggest fear
The physical detail is surreal but the emotional logic is clear. She's afraid of him but she's the one leaving, which means he didn't need to lock the door. She stayed because she thought needing him meant loving him.
I miss you, darling / And I miss you so
The song ends without resolution or understanding. She still misses him. She still thinks what happened when she blacked out was something worth grieving instead of something worth naming correctly.
She still doesn't understand that missing someone who scared you isn't the same as missing someone who loved you safely. The song ends where it started, drunk in the road in front of his house, convinced that what happened when she blacked out was intimacy instead of something she should have been protected from. She thinks the problem was going crazy, not staying with someone she had to sneak away from while he slept.