From the album The Great Divide
This is a song about wanting to fail your kids before they exist so they'll have someone to blame. Kahan frames neglect as generosity, like falling asleep on the couch and disappearing into tour life is actually giving his hypothetical children the gift of low expectations. He keeps saying he's in control while describing someone gambling with death and planning his own erasure.
Gamblin' with the sun / On which one of us dies young
He treats early death like a coin flip he's actively participating in, not something that just happens to people. The casual tone makes it worse because he knows the odds and he's playing anyway.
So they can fuck up all they want and blame it all on their dad / So they can watch me go to work, to fall asleep on the couch
He calls this getting them spoiled but the actual image is of an absent father who can't stay awake. This isn't freedom, it's abandonment he's trying to rebrand as a parenting philosophy.
'Cause where I'm from and what I'm worth have gotten too damn intertwined / If I'm gone this time next year
The line about home and worth getting tangled explains the whole gamble. He can't separate his identity from his origin story, so disappearing becomes the only move that makes sense. Not sure if he actually believes he might be gone or if this is rehearsal for leaving.
Gonna be rich, in our own way / I swear you're gonna get it, kid
The vagueness of 'in our own way' admits the promise is hollow. Rich in what? Dysfunction? The repeated 'someday' pushes the payout so far into the future it never has to arrive.
I'm fillin' every pause / I'm speakin' when I know somethin' / It's anythin' I want
He keeps insisting he's got total control, but the song just described compulsive touring, potential overdose, smashing mirrors, vanishing. Filling every pause sounds like someone who can't sit still with himself.
The song never mentions a partner or describes these children as real. They're a narrative device that lets him talk about failing without admitting he's failing right now. He thinks he's being honest about his limitations, but really he's asking imaginary kids to forgive him in advance.