From the album The Fear of Fear - EP
This is about someone who has been so thoroughly trained to carry blame that they mistake stability for giving up. The speaker thinks their problem is not being enough, but the real trap is believing that accepting responsibility for everything means they deserve the punishment. She wants to disappear into a dream where honor doesn't exist because honor has only ever been a weapon used against her.
I feel alone in my body / I feel a silence underneath
The body is not home. It is a place she occupies but does not belong to. That silence underneath is not peace, it is the void where her own voice should be.
But what if I was stable enough to wind me down the road / Like a remora swims?
A remora is a fish that survives by attaching to larger creatures and feeding off their scraps. She is asking if maybe stability just means learning to be parasitic, to stop trying to move on her own. That is not aspiration, that is resignation dressed up as maturity.
In my dreams, all I see is a crimson key / Tethered by a falling string
The key that could unlock her is falling away while she watches. The dream offers escape, but even there, the mechanism of freedom is always just out of reach. I'm not sure if the crimson means blood or something else, but it makes the key feel like it was never meant to work in the first place.
Love is jaded
The entire song repeats 'Blood is jaded' until the very last line, where she swaps in 'Love.' Blood carried the shame, the violence, the inheritance. Love is what it becomes after all that. Not pure, not healing. Just another thing that has been through too much.
I know where I wanna go / But you know that it's too close / And you know that it's too late this time
This is the only moment in the song where a 'you' appears. Suddenly someone else is in the room, someone who knows what she wants and why she can't have it. The speaker has been alone this whole time, but now it is clear she has been talking herself out of leaving for someone else's benefit.
The speaker thinks the problem is that she was never enough, but the real problem is that she has been extraordinarily consistent in one thing: blaming herself. The final line swaps blood for love, and it lands like a diagnosis. Love did not save her from the inheritance. It just became another thing to carry.