From the album Dear God
This is a blackout song where the running never stops because standing still means facing what you are becoming. The narrator knows she is circling the drain but keeps the engine redlining anyway, because admitting you are out of gas means the ride is over.
I was running out of gas so I'm doing it dead / Then I went along with a suicide
She knows the tank is empty but keeps driving. The phrase 'doing it dead' turns momentum into a corpse act, something that keeps moving after it should have stopped.
And I was trying hard to think but I couldn't drink / 'Cause I was already on some trip I need
The logic is backwards. She can't drink because she is already too far gone, but the phrasing makes it sound like deprivation, like she is being denied something. Addiction grammar.
Midnight, couldn't be alone with me / I wanted to be young and alone with me
Two versions of herself in the same breath. One who cannot stand her own company, one who misses who she used to be when solitude did not feel like punishment.
When I wake up, I don't know where I was last night
The whole song has been about motion, but this line admits the real problem is the gaps. She is not losing time because she is having too much fun. She is losing herself.
This is Taylor Momsen writing like someone who has read too much Bret Easton Ellis and lived through too many mornings where the night before is just a gap in the tape. The song does not offer redemption because it does not believe in it yet.