From the album My Reckless Abandon
This song stages a disorienting contradiction: the speaker frames eating as a sin requiring divine forgiveness while starvation becomes virtue. She treats normal hunger like gluttony and sleep like a meal you can fill yourself on. The entire moral framework is upside down, and she knows it, but knowing hasn't changed anything.
Sometimes I eat sleep for dinner, hmm / Chew my food and spit it out
Sleep becomes edible, food becomes poison. She's swapped the functions of things that should sustain her. The casual 'sometimes' underplays what comes next: chewing and spitting, which means she's still going through the motions of eating while refusing to actually do it.
Gluttony, Lord, forgive her / Savory turns poison in my mouth
Gluttony is the sin of overconsumption. She's asking forgiveness for eating at all. By the second line, normal food has become toxic, which means her body has learned to reject what it needs. The religious framing isn't metaphor. She genuinely believes eating is moral failure.
One skipped meal away from thinner / And I'm five away from looking like the girl in my head
One meal equals thinner, but she's always five away from the goal. The math will never work because 'the girl in my head' isn't a weight, it's a mirage that moves when she moves. She's chasing an image that doesn't correspond to any actual number.
It's my only hobby, counting every calorie / It started innocent, but I think it's killing me
Hobby makes it sound recreational, like knitting. But hobbies don't kill you. The phrase 'I think it's killing me' hedges what she already knows for certain. She can't commit to the reality of what's happening even as she names it directly.
When it gets real bad, I just go to sleep
Sleep isn't rest here. It's the way she disappears when the hunger gets too loud or when she can't be mean to herself anymore. The song ends where it started: eating sleep for dinner, which means the loop never breaks.
The song ends exactly where it began: eating sleep for dinner. She's told you what's happening, named it as potentially fatal, and asked for help. But the final image is her disappearing back into bed, which means the awareness hasn't interrupted the pattern. The scariest part might be how she describes it as a hobby, like it's something she's just casually committed to instead of the thing that's taking over her life.