From the album CHOKE - Single
This is not about wanting to die. It's about wanting to stop performing the act of being alive while everyone watches. The drowning imagery is less about ending and more about refusing to keep your head above water just because people expect you to.
I won't say goodbye / In the end, it won't matter at all
She is not announcing an exit. She is refusing to perform one. The denial of goodbye is colder than any farewell could be.
Wear your tears like jewelry / That vice is overpriced but / Art is dead, it died with me
This addresses someone mourning her decline as if it is decorative. The 'Don't cry' is not comfort. It is contempt for anyone treating her struggle as aesthetic.
Let me dive in / Sink in deeper / Push my head / Choke me 'til I drown
The imperative shifts from passive drowning to active suffocation. She is not asking to be saved. She is asking to be left alone while she stops trying.
Like a machine every day I'm on hold / Breathe in, breathe out / I keep on waiting, tearing at my will
The mechanical rhythm of survival becomes the problem. Breathing is not living here. It is just the baseline function she wishes would stop looping.
Let me drown / Let me drown
The repetition is not emphasis. It is insistence against whoever keeps trying to pull her back up. Each repeat is another refusal to fight the current.
The song refuses catharsis. It does not build to survival or surrender. It just keeps repeating the request to be left underwater. The repetition is the point. She is not asking once. She is asking until you stop trying to save her.